sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
