i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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