I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
