You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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