okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
