i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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