Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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