we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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