I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
