Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
