Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
