and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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