I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
