a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
