I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
