You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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