So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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