There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
