i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
