Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
