are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
