Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
