He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
