Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
