I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
