i permit you to call me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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