oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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