did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
