I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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