Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
