I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
