He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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