so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
