watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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