omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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