I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
