But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
