I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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