alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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