is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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