I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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