My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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