K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this boner is exhausting
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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