they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
