Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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