What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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