I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
