Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
