Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
