physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
