The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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