Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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