i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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