Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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