im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i've created a new STD.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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