You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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