I'm so fucking centered right now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
